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How I Met Your Slenderman
How I Met Your Slenderman is the first episode of How I Met Your Hat. Plot A hat is drinking some beer at a bar with a 3dmg potato and some guy in a bowler hat. They were watching a TF2 match on the TV of the bar. (Omi): Goddammit this new purple team is seriously kicking RED's ass. (Dark): Yeah, I know. (Omi): It's like their not even trying to win- Dark pulled out a grammar hammar. (Omi): IT WAS A TYPO I SWEAR (Dark): You survived this time, Omi. No escapes the grammar hammar. (Brian): omg dark do u even grammar (Omi): lolololol Suddenly a Slenderman teleported in. (Omi): Mom? (Slenderman): Hey, there's some bad news I need to tell you about. (Omi): ARE YOU PREGNANT (Slenderman): OMI STFU (Omi): I hate you too mom. (Sci): Anyway... your father is dead. They all gasped in awe. They were silent for a couple of seconds. (Omi): (ripchat) (Sci): (strike) Theme song thing. (Dark): How did he die? (Sci): Well, Omi's ex's sister rode on Omi's ex's new husband and blew up a store where he was. FLASHBACK Ma Vreedle is riding on Nyan Cat bombing the shit out of a video game store. Ghastly Gibus Hattington was crushed inside. END OF FLASHBACK (Sci): Well that's what happened so deal with it. Anyway imma go remarry an Enderman or something (teleports) (Omi): We have no idea how our Slenderman mother met our Team Fortress 2 hat father. (Brian):...sooo? (Omi): Imma tell my kids the story of how I met their second mother since Tammar was a bitch. (Dark): I'd hate my ex too if she dated Nyan Cat. Flashforward, and Omi the Hat is sitting on a couch, telling a Polymorph, a Segmentasapien and a Spy stuff. (Omi): And now I'm going to tell you how I met your mother. (Ulti): Yay! :D (Spy): Oh please. Can I smoke? (Omi): SPY AMBASSADORIAN HATTINGTON THE FIFTEENTH, YOU'RE SEVEN (Spy):... screw you dad. (Bloxx): When I grow up, I wanna be a pedophile Santa Claus. (Omi): Bloxx stfu (Ulti): Tell us the story, dad. (Omi): Okay, it all began when I was born... Flashback thingyy. Sci and Ghastly Gibus were driving home from a Taco house. (Sci): Ghastly, I think the tacos are really disagreeing with my tentacles. (Ghastly): Oh Sci, I told you you shouldn't eat a taco made by a Japanese. (Sci): >.> Sci went home and sat on the toilet. (Sci): MY BUTTHOLE IS ON FIRE She pooped and looked in the toilet. In it was a human baby, a baby potato, and a shrunken hat. (Sci): Woah... I just gave birth. (Ghastly): GODDAMMIT SCI NOW WE HAVE BABIES (Sci): Don't worry, Ghastly, we will raise them as epic baby things. (Omi, present): So after some time passed, I grew up, went to Battleblock Kindergarten- Picture shows Omi in kindergarten with some other hats. (Omi): -went to Sniper Elementary Omi is in school with a Sniper teacher guy. (Omi): -went to Frontier Highschooling- Omi is in high school. (Omi): and then studied Hat Physics at the Headwear Academy. (Bloxx): Dad, you fascinate us. (Omi): So anyway, I met Tammar at the academy and we married, gave birth to Glitch and Ulti, and then she ditched me eight monthes later since she said I was a douche for parking like one. Tammar and Omi are in a house. (Tammar): YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME (Omi): Um, I just parked in three parking spaces. What's the problem with that? (Tammar): YOU DOUCHEBAG Tammar smashed his head with Mjolnir and went to date Nyan Cat. TO BE WRITTEN PROBABLY Category:Episodes Category:HIMYH